Ego-away

     I was remembering a moment somewhere around this time last year. I was overcome with the hippiest of urges to remove my shoes and ground myself in the earth as I foraged a rare blackberry free patch of forest. My thought stream was filled with wild woman imagery and inspiring quotes about being one with the trees. It was all very Lorax with a side of dryad. And then.....I stepped square and barefoot into a pile of fresh deer scat.

    Nature has a way of doing that. It inspires us. It fills us with awe and wonder! It makes us feel special and important to witness to the mysteries and secrets of the quiet places. Then it does a 180 and says "Settle down there, Euell Gibbons!" Nature reminds you who is really in charge despite all your best laid plans and intentions.

   Sometimes this ego check comes with the bitterly amusing squish of fecal matter, but other times it can be a harsher lesson. We lost all but three turkeys last year from several of these nature slaps. It's easy during those times to get angry at that damn fisher or your mom's overly excitable dog. But the harsh truth is that it's ultimately your fault. You didn't check the gate that last time despite your intuition tickling at you before bed. You didn't tighten that collar down just a notch even though you knew the dog wasn't used to farm creatures.

   Listen. Mistakes will be made. You're going to sunburn some seedlings. You're going to trust a little too much in apparently less than adequate predator defenses. Your incubator settings will not quite be up to muster. It is going to happen. The sooner you square yourself with that the more productive you will be able to be.
 
    This is not to say that you're not allowed to feel badly. or feel guilty. Actually I would encourage that reaction, but only for use as fuel. Understand first that you made a mistake, and secondly what that mistake was. Finally, understand that all mistakes have a correction. Sure, nothing will bring back the specific lives lost but the understanding of what occurred will protect you from the same mistakes in the future. A successful homesteader isn't one who doesn't make any mistakes. A successful homesteader is one who can step outside of the ego of their mistakes to learn from them.

    The cycles of nature march inexorably onward. The seasons wait for no man or woman. The best medicine a nature saturated lifestyle has for our species is the lesson of being. To learn to let go when things have not gone our way. To adapt our strategies and mindset to the current reality of what is and not to what we think it should be. Let go of that ego now and again. It won't run away, I promise! It will be right there where you left it, but letting it go will allow your soul and mind to breathe. Allow yourself to take that break. Just a little rest will have you feeling right as rain in no time.

This is not how I pictured my flock looking as we head into this summer, but my heart is grateful!